


Sleep, Baby, Sleep

by braytray



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Dead Jace Wayland, Depression, Grief, Heavy Angst, M/M, Major character death - Freeform, Mourning, Parabatai Angst, Sad Alec Lightwood, Supportive Magnus Bane, immortal malec, tell me if i missed any huge tags and i'll add them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-23
Updated: 2018-10-23
Packaged: 2019-08-06 06:28:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16383059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/braytray/pseuds/braytray
Summary: Immortal Malec after Jace dies.  Alec mourning, and Magnus helping him through the pain.Title: Sleep, Baby, Sleeby by The Broods





	Sleep, Baby, Sleep

**Author's Note:**

> I was just kinda sad today, and I didn't want to be sad, so I thought I'd make Alec sad. Enjoy.
> 
> Feat.: Alec's insecurities and Magnus always being warm.

Alec felt an arm curling around his waist.  It was comforting, warming his skin against the forty degree air.  His jacket was slung over a chair just inside the door, but he couldn't bother himself to go and get it.  Magnus's head dropped onto Alec's shoulder, and Alec sighed.  This was all they'd been doing as of late.  Alec snuck away almost every night after Magnus finally fell asleep--it's not like the voices in his head were going to let him sleep anyway--and tried to endure the cold air as long as he could.  It wasn't just during the night that Alec felt like this, either.  The feelings came even during the day when there was nothing to make him feel sad. The emptiness in the core of his being always pulled at his attention when all he wanted to do was be happy.

Magnus didn't sign up for this when Alec agreed to stay alive with him past his normal lifespan.  He never wanted _this_ version of Alec; the person who couldn't get over a death he'd already been preparing for.  Alec heard stories of people losing their _parabatai_ and living for years after, and those stories never ended well.  He couldn't imagine becoming one of those people who killed themselves with a seraph blade because the emptiness was too much to stand.  But he could never do that.  Not when he finally had Magnus forever.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Magnus gently broke the silence, still gazing on the city.  It was always easier for Alec to talk when he wasn't being watched.

He opened and closed his mouth a few times before responding. "You keep saying time helps, and it did with Izzy and Clary, but this..." He shook his head. "It's been months and I still can't imagine going back to normal life without Jace here.  I just wish we could do things.  Things we like, but every time I try it feels like, like I'm gonna forget." Alec calmed his shaking hands by grabbing Magnus'.

"Alexander, I didn't sign up for this thinking it was going to be easy." Alec closed his eyes.  That was his Magnus, always so rational. "He isn't just your brother, he's your _parabatai_ , I didn't expect this process to go quickly or be easy.  At all." He let out a dry chuckle. "After all, we do have forever.  I think it's okay to take your time."

The two stood for a while.  Alec took the time to appreciate Magnus's warmth until they both decided to go inside away from the cold.  When they crawled under the covers that night, laying tangles with each other, Alec felt like a weight was lifted off his chest.  And for the first time in months, we wasn't afraid to fall asleep.


End file.
